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能否帮忙查看是否该段英文有没有语法错误,如有,望能指教一二,谢谢

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能否帮忙查看是否该段英文有没有语法错误,如有,望能指教一二,谢谢
WASHING CLOTHES
It is very tired to wash clothes , if you have no washing machine , you will feeling very pained of your hands and your waist .
First of all , you must to buy a bag of 洗衣粉 ,and put it into the warm warter , after the洗衣粉 be dissolved in water completely . The temperature of the water couldn’t too hight , it could be 30 to 40 centigrade .
The second , you should put the clothes into the water , and churn them in the water . Afer a few minutes , you should to wash them . There are many instruments you could use , such as brush \ washboard \washtub and so on , the could help you to wash the clothes faster .
If you are a lazy man , you could take the dirty clothes to cleaners or ask somebody to help you to wash them ,but you have to pay for their working for you .,and for one thing you must have enough money .
能否帮忙查看是否该段英文有没有语法错误,如有,望能指教一二,谢谢
你还是个学生吗?这篇文章还算OK.不过我要提醒你几点:
1.注意连接词,例如,first,secondly.等.
2.注意标点符号.
3.注意上下文要语义通顺,不能写着写着就跑了.
4.写文章多用从句,少用口语.
我帮你稍微改了一下,你看看!
It is very tired to wash clothes if you do not have a washing machine and your hands and waist will be very painful after washing.So,you had better to buy a bag of washing powder,and melt it into the warm warter until the washing powder is dissolved in the water completely.You should also pay attension to the temperature of the water.It couldn’t be too hight,30 to 40 centigrade is OK.
Secondly,you should put the clothes into the water churning them.Afer a few minutes,you can start to wash them .There are many tools you could use,such as brush,washboard,washtub and so on,they can help you to wash the clothes faster and cleaner .
If you are a lazy man,you could take the dirty clothes to cleaners or ask somebody to help you to wash them.But you have to pay for it.And the most necessary thing is that you must have enough money.