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求英语高手帮我看一下这篇作文哪里有错!

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求英语高手帮我看一下这篇作文哪里有错!
Happy Spring Festival!What did you think of the Spring Festival?I think it made me very tired,but very happy and excited!In China,married women and men will give lucky money to children in spring festival.So after Spring Festival,a lot of children will have much lucky money.And this time is the wealthiest time about me of the year!But this money how to use in good way?现在我会告诉你我是怎样用的(这句我不知道怎样译,)At first ,I will give back 30%money to my parents,becausr they use a lot of money in the Spring Festival,even if the money is not a lot.Secondly,my mother will hekp me keep 30% money in the bank.Thirdly I will use the rest of money to buy some useful book or something about study.Time flyes,we must go to school after several days.I hope my study this term will better and better
Happy Spring Festival!What do you think of the Festival?I think it makes me feel very tired,but at the same time I am happy and excited.In china,married women and men will give luckly money to children in Spring Festival.So after the Festival a lot of children will have lots of luckly money.This time of year is the wealthiest time for me.But how to use it in a good way And now I will tell you that I how to use。Firstly I'll give back 30% of it to my parents because they spend a lot in the Spring Festival,so I'd like to help them out even it means little to them.Secondly,my mother will help me by putting another 30% in my savings account.Thirdly,I will use the rest of it to buy some useful books or other things about study.Time flies and we must go back to school in a few days.I hope my study this term would be better and better!
求英语高手帮我看一下这篇作文哪里有错!
问题多时间紧,直接改了.尽量保持题主的写作思路和风格,只改动语法和部分修辞.
Happy Spring Festival!What do you think of the Festival?I think it makes me feel very tired,but at the same time am happy and excited.In china,married couple will give money to children as fortune money in Spring Festival.So after the Festival a lot of children will have lots of fortune money.This time of year is the wealthiest time for me.But how to spend it if you ask me,and here's how.Firstly I'll give back 30% of it to my parents for they usually spend a lot during this time of the year,so I'd like to help them out even it means little to them.Secondly,my mother will help me by putting another 30% in my savings account.Thirdly,I will use the rest of it to buy some useful books or other things related to study.Time flies and we must go back to school in a few days.I hope my study this term would be better and better.
再问: 但我只是初二学生........有好多单词都还没学...
再答: 我改的里面有你没学过的吗?我自己觉得已经用的都是简单的字了呀,而且结构也基本没动。
再问: 你看一下我问题补充的行不行?顺便问一下,你觉得我写得算好吗?....
再答: 1. 如果非要用lucky money也可以,写成Lucky Money可能好点儿。 2. And now I will tell you that I how to use 改成 Now I will tell you how I use it. 一般最好不要用And开始句子。 3. firstly那句里的because前去掉逗号。 4. about study 改成 for study。 5. 最后一句把this term挪到最后更好一些。 其它没问题。