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请各位英语大师帮小弟修改这篇英语作文(An E-mail to My Friend Jim)写介绍自己家乡

来源：学生作业帮 编辑：百度作业网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/04/26 23:27:14
请各位英语大师帮小弟修改这篇英语作文(An E-mail to My Friend Jim)写介绍自己家乡
Dear Jim
How is everything going?I'm hometown here very beautiful,Here Beautiful flowers,People live in peace,law and order is very good.Welcome to my hotwon.
I'm looking forard to arrival.
请各位英语大师帮小弟修改这篇英语作文(An E-mail to My Friend Jim)写介绍自己家乡
Dear Jim
How is everything?My hometown is very beautiful,There are fragrant flowers,crystal blue sky and green trees dotted with red fruits,In addition,people live in harmony,Besides,law and order are well-obied.Welcome to my hometown to experience the heaven-like life here.
I'm looking forward to your arrival.
1going多余,问好时通常用How is everything
2形容flowers再用beautiful,显得形容词匮乏,不生动,fragrant芳香的
3“我的”应该是用my
4第二三句少BE动词
5单单flowers过于单调,后trees用dotted with（点缀）此过去分词词组修饰更生动形象.
6相比peace,harmony（和谐）更加贴切
7good这个形容词太宽泛了,well-obied(良好地遵守)
8主语law and order为复数,不能用is
9连接词太少,句子之间显得无联系
个人意见,仅供参考,
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