百度作业网一个appeal书,请看看这个有没有语法错误.
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：百度作业网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/06/11 19:28:11
一个appeal书,请看看这个有没有语法错误.
I am writing to you to appeal for more scholarship or financial aid of $14,000/year.
I know that it is such a huge number,and without it,I will have to give up XX,which is definitely my dream school in the U.S.Maybe things would be a little bit different if my mother has not been so sick since 3 months ago.It was definitely a hard time for my family and me and it took so much time and money to heal my mother.But she,my dear mom,even wanted to give up the healing to save money to make it more possible for me to enter my dream school in the U.S.at the beginning.Of course I denied her original thought immediately.Fortunately,she is now becoming better and better and I believe she may leave hospital soon in the future.I seldom told others about my mom’s sickness,but here I told you to explain why I need that much money to enter the college.
I might not be the best applicant among all the international applicants,but I am and will always be the most diligent and the most special one.I plan to double or even triple major in the college and I want to pursue further graduate degree.I am not the typical bookish student,I know how to make Chinese knot,I learn violin by myself and now I can play several songs,I love singing and once was the member in the school choir,I love doing volunteer work:I have tutored a lot of kids with autism.Compared with those who have high SAT scores but have spent a lot of money and all their time on preparing for the SATs.I think I am better than them even though I may not have that high scores.
I don’t know if my appeal is successful,if it is,I have to thank you all for offering the chance,If it is not,I will go and learn how to write a better appeal letter.
My mom always tells me not to give up hope,Saying that The darkest hour is that before the dawn.I will never give up my future dream and my future plan even if I could not have that money in the end.Again,I still have to thank you for offering me a place at XX.
I am writing to you to appeal for more scholarship or financial aid of $14,000/year.
I know that it is such a huge number,and without it,I will have to give up XX,which is definitely my dream school in the U.S.Maybe things would be a little bit different if my mother has not been so sick since 3 months ago.It was definitely a hard time for my family and me and it took so much time and money to heal my mother.But she,my dear mom,even wanted to give up the healing to save money to make it more possible for me to enter my dream school in the U.S.at the beginning.Of course I denied her original thought immediately.Fortunately,she is now becoming better and better and I believe she may leave hospital soon in the future.I seldom told others about my mom’s sickness,but here I told you to explain why I need that much money to enter the college.
I might not be the best applicant among all the international applicants,but I am and will always be the most diligent and the most special one.I plan to double or even triple major in the college and I want to pursue further graduate degree.I am not the typical bookish student,I know how to make Chinese knot,I learn violin by myself and now I can play several songs,I love singing and once was the member in the school choir,I love doing volunteer work:I have tutored a lot of kids with autism.Compared with those who have high SAT scores but have spent a lot of money and all their time on preparing for the SATs.I think I am better than them even though I may not have that high scores.
I don’t know if my appeal is successful,if it is,I have to thank you all for offering the chance,If it is not,I will go and learn how to write a better appeal letter.
My mom always tells me not to give up hope,Saying that The darkest hour is that before the dawn.I will never give up my future dream and my future plan even if I could not have that money in the end.Again,I still have to thank you for offering me a place at XX.
1 .I am writing to you to appeal for more scholarship or financial aid of $14,000/year.
本句语法不规范
2.I know that it is such a huge number,and without it,I will have to give up XX,which is definitely my dream school in
本句语法不规范
huge在写作中使用的太泛,在某些语境下可考虑换为tremendous等.
3.But she,my dear mom,even wanted to give up the healing to save money to make it more possible for me to enter my dream school in the U.S.at the beginning.
本句语法不规范
4.I plan to double or even triple major in the college and I want to pursue further graduate degree.
中式英语:triple...major 在英语本族语中很少使用
in the college 冠词多余
5.I learn violin by myself and now I can play several songs,
learn violin 冠词缺失
6.I don't know if my appeal is successful,if it is,I have to thank you all for offering the chance,If it is not,I will go and learn how to write a better appeal letter.
本句语法不规范a better appeal letter 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
再问： 谢谢，那几句应该怎样改呢？？ 那些语法不规范的。。。。
本句语法不规范
2.I know that it is such a huge number,and without it,I will have to give up XX,which is definitely my dream school in
本句语法不规范
huge在写作中使用的太泛,在某些语境下可考虑换为tremendous等.
3.But she,my dear mom,even wanted to give up the healing to save money to make it more possible for me to enter my dream school in the U.S.at the beginning.
本句语法不规范
4.I plan to double or even triple major in the college and I want to pursue further graduate degree.
中式英语:triple...major 在英语本族语中很少使用
in the college 冠词多余
5.I learn violin by myself and now I can play several songs,
learn violin 冠词缺失
6.I don't know if my appeal is successful,if it is,I have to thank you all for offering the chance,If it is not,I will go and learn how to write a better appeal letter.
本句语法不规范a better appeal letter 在英语本族语中很少使用,建议检查
再问： 谢谢，那几句应该怎样改呢？？ 那些语法不规范的。。。。