高考 英语作文 ：最近的一项调查显示,我国每年餐桌上浪费的食物高达2000亿元,相当于2亿多人一年的口粮.近日,某英语报

高考 英语作文
：最近的一项调查显示,我国每年餐桌上浪费的食物高达2000亿元,相当于2亿多人一年的口粮.近日,某英语报以Join in the "Clean Your Plate"Campaign 为题向中学生征文.请根据提示,用英语写一篇短文应征.内容包括：浪费的原因；浪费的后果；你的看法和措施.
Join in the “Clean Your Plate” Campaign（标题是题目给的 之后是我写的）
We often see people waste food because they can’t eat it all up or is simply a kind of show-off.Many people tend to order more food than they really need.In fact,they get full easily while lots of leftovers is still on their plates.
Wasting food is mnot a small problem.We Chinese spend 2000 billion yuan on waste food a year,which equals to one year’s food of more than two billion people.In the mean time,millions of children go to bed with their stomach empty in Africa.It’s really a problem that we let delicious food thrown away like rubbish.We only pay attention to whether the food is tasty,but seldom think of whether we can eat it all up.
I think that the”Clean Your Plate” Campaign is really necessary as it can promote the awareness of public to save food.Starting from ourselves,we could make our contributions to society and the human beings.I hope to see the day that we all clean our plates up.I believe it’ll come true.
提供详细批改
包括短语用得不对的地方
语法错误 低级错误 更高级的句型
润色的建议 作为高考作文不足之处和优秀文章的差距

We often see people waste food because they can’t eat it all up or 【it,必需是个完整的句子要不然你和because连不起来】is simply a kind of show-off. Many people tend to order more food than they really need. In fact, they get full easily while lots of leftovers is【are】 still on their plates.
Wasting food is not a small problem. We Chinese spend 2000 billion yuan on waste【wasting】 food a【every】 year【你这句句子有点不对,因为从句意上来看你的意思是：中国人每年花2000亿在浪费的食物上.呃,怎么说,和原意不太一样.】, which equals to【to去掉】 one year’s food of more than two billion people【很变扭,看着很中式,我等下细说】. In the mean time, millions of children go to bed with their stomach【stomaches,那么多人不是只有一个胃啊】 empty in Africa. It’s really a problem that we let delicious food 【be,let sth be done】thrown away like rubbish. We only pay attention to whether the food is tasty, but seldom think of whether we can eat it all up.
I think that【that去掉】 the”Clean Your Plate” Campaign is really necessary as it can promote the awareness of public to save food【你得把to save food换成一个名词】. Starting from ourselves, we could make our contributions to society and the human beings. I hope to see the day that we all clean our plates up. I believe it’ll come true.

粗略的看了一下,写得怎么说呢,语法上还行,错误比较少.说说几点：你的文章人称没有换来换去,这点很好,一定要保持.我觉得你写文章的时候只是在粗略地翻译,而不是真的去“写“一片文章,举个例子：”我国每年餐桌上浪费的食物高达2000亿元,相当于2亿多人一年的口粮“,这句,”We Chinese spend 2000 billion yuan on waste food a year, which equals to one year’s food of more than two billion people.”这是你写的,要怎么说呢,表达这个意思的时候换个方式,比如说这样：According to a survey of XX agency, the food we wasted every year is valued up suprisingly to 2000 billion yuan, which is equivalent to a whole year's ration of more than two billion people.感觉你写的东西句式……都挺简单的= =.看看这两句：I hope to see the day that we all clean our plates up. I believe it’ll come true. 简单句啊简单句,还都是I怎么怎么的句式.改改,当然我改的也不怎么样其实= =：To witness the anwareness of conservation being evoked, the day that everyone would finish their food, is what I have always strongly wished, and I believe my wish will be fulfilled someday in the future. 这个其实吧,说高考作文怎么样我还真不太清楚,我只能用我的眼光来告诉你我觉得怎么样了.我觉得你的作文有点儿短……当然高考字数要求多少我不知道,但我真是觉得这个有点短,想我当初考试二十五分钟700+个词……我觉得你写作文干巴巴的,一点儿例子之类的都没有= =……举个例子来说明浪费的不可取和坏处啊,中国历史上不是有好多大饥荒么.要是不知道举欧洲历史上爱尔兰大饥荒,人口锐减三分之一.要么就举法国大革命,人民都挨饿,皇室,尤其是皇后Maria Antonieta更是铺张浪费,由此造成人民愤怒冲进凡尔赛宫进一步引发法国大革命.我知道你可能觉得写个浪费怎么会和法国大革命这种东西扯上边儿呢?我来告诉你,你举法国大革命的例子,可以说由历史可见,浪费可以造成多么严重的后果,人口锐减,无数人死去.我们不能犯同样的错误等等.档次一下子就上去了不是?你想想阅卷的老师一下就看见你考卷上一个French revolution的例子,外加里面包含几个人名类似于Maria Antonieta, Louis XVI之类的,不得感慨一下?要是历史不行就多看点儿新闻,什么非洲饥荒多少人得个啥病,多少人死去之类的,怎么痛苦之类的.这些我不太清楚就靠你自己了.
你可以多记点而名人名言,然后拿来作开头,比如说这句：“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.” 你可以这么开头,“ Mahatma Gandhi once said：“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.” But today we often see people waste food because they can’t eat it all up or is simply a kind of show-off……”看,用这个名言把你的作文接上去,档次一下子就上来了!多背点而名人名言,考试的时候就往上套,当然你套了得解释得通= =.暂时就这么多吧,我也就这水平了= =.