百度作业网这篇文章在雅思中能得几分?
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：百度作业网作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/06/23 19:35:19
这篇文章在雅思中能得几分?
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work,job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Nowadays,most people would like to spend a significant time on working during their adult life.Job is an important part to decide their quality of life.Many factors cause job satisfaction.Meanwhile,the expectations of job satisfaction always follow self-condition and the wide environment.This essay will explain above opinions.
At the beginning,salary is the most important factor of job satisfaction,because salary is needed for living.When people earn money,they can buy necessary goods and normal goods.Although there are unlimited wants for people,the job satisfaction improved,as people are able to buy more normal goods and luxury goods.Moreover,holiday is another important factor.Most people want to have suitable holiday like double-leisure days.Since leisure time make workers relaxed and have much energy for working.Therefore,salary and leisure time have momentous influence on job satisfaction.
Furthermore,the job satisfaction also determined by working condition.In majority,workers are willing to accept employers with positive attitude.For instance,if workers have trouble like sickness,they wish to acquire assistance from the employers especially reimburse the expenses of medical treatment.On the other hand,the distance from workers’ home to the company and the communication between workers are also included in working condition.In addition,people often anticipate job contentment adapt to real condition.
In general,the expectation of job satisfaction usually according to diploma and working experience.Besides the paragraph above,all workers desire high salary and long leisure time at the same time.The circumstance of working is a part in the expectation of job satisfaction as well.
Consequently,there are many factors contribute to job satisfaction.It can be received by good working condition,welling-paid salary and long vacation.Hence,the expectations of job satisfaction for all workers are related to their ability and external environment.
求高手帮我看看大概能打几分呢?我严重怀疑我写跑题了……如果目标是7分的话,需要改进哪些地方呢?感激不尽!
（PS：因为不确定有没有人回答这个问题,所以悬赏分不高……如有人回答我一定会增加悬赏分的!）
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work,job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Nowadays,most people would like to spend a significant time on working during their adult life.Job is an important part to decide their quality of life.Many factors cause job satisfaction.Meanwhile,the expectations of job satisfaction always follow self-condition and the wide environment.This essay will explain above opinions.
At the beginning,salary is the most important factor of job satisfaction,because salary is needed for living.When people earn money,they can buy necessary goods and normal goods.Although there are unlimited wants for people,the job satisfaction improved,as people are able to buy more normal goods and luxury goods.Moreover,holiday is another important factor.Most people want to have suitable holiday like double-leisure days.Since leisure time make workers relaxed and have much energy for working.Therefore,salary and leisure time have momentous influence on job satisfaction.
Furthermore,the job satisfaction also determined by working condition.In majority,workers are willing to accept employers with positive attitude.For instance,if workers have trouble like sickness,they wish to acquire assistance from the employers especially reimburse the expenses of medical treatment.On the other hand,the distance from workers’ home to the company and the communication between workers are also included in working condition.In addition,people often anticipate job contentment adapt to real condition.
In general,the expectation of job satisfaction usually according to diploma and working experience.Besides the paragraph above,all workers desire high salary and long leisure time at the same time.The circumstance of working is a part in the expectation of job satisfaction as well.
Consequently,there are many factors contribute to job satisfaction.It can be received by good working condition,welling-paid salary and long vacation.Hence,the expectations of job satisfaction for all workers are related to their ability and external environment.
求高手帮我看看大概能打几分呢?我严重怀疑我写跑题了……如果目标是7分的话,需要改进哪些地方呢?感激不尽!
（PS：因为不确定有没有人回答这个问题,所以悬赏分不高……如有人回答我一定会增加悬赏分的!）
你想拿7分是不可能的了.我看过另外一个人的回答,同感,这篇文章应该不会超过5分.
他所提到的问题我在这里就不提了,我说一些他没有说到的地方.
1.At the beginning,salary is the most important factor of job satisfaction,because salary is needed for living.第二段第一句话,because引导一个句子,而你两个句子中间用逗号连接,而没有出现连词,这一句都是错的.英文语法中最基本的常识,逗号不能连接两个句子.
2.格式化套路太严重.不知道是不是慎小嶷老师的十天系列太红了.当然,那本书自然有其出彩的地方,但是中国学生都比较懒,不愿意自己去推敲什么地方该用什么句子,而是生搬硬套,问题自然就多了.想必这也不是慎小嶷老师出这本书的初衷吧.即使你用了很多连词来试图让这篇文章显得有逻辑性,但是实际上文章逻辑还是比较乱的.
3.进一步解释我的观点2.例如第一段完全可以不用描述背景,因为那是最最基本最low的写作方法.想拿7分或以上的分数,可以用排比句或者直接开门见山的手法.中间段落严格按照总分总的结构,这个慎小嶷书里有,剑桥后面的范文也是如此,好好体会下吧.
4.词汇变化可以更多一些.最好一个单词不要重复出现三遍以上.
大概就是这些了.像基本的语法,介词搭配等问题我就不多说了.平时练习的时候多google,如果网上没有你写的那种说法,那么必然是你错了.这可以有效的避免中国式英语和语法还有用词上面的错误.
他所提到的问题我在这里就不提了,我说一些他没有说到的地方.
1.At the beginning,salary is the most important factor of job satisfaction,because salary is needed for living.第二段第一句话,because引导一个句子,而你两个句子中间用逗号连接,而没有出现连词,这一句都是错的.英文语法中最基本的常识,逗号不能连接两个句子.
2.格式化套路太严重.不知道是不是慎小嶷老师的十天系列太红了.当然,那本书自然有其出彩的地方,但是中国学生都比较懒,不愿意自己去推敲什么地方该用什么句子,而是生搬硬套,问题自然就多了.想必这也不是慎小嶷老师出这本书的初衷吧.即使你用了很多连词来试图让这篇文章显得有逻辑性,但是实际上文章逻辑还是比较乱的.
3.进一步解释我的观点2.例如第一段完全可以不用描述背景,因为那是最最基本最low的写作方法.想拿7分或以上的分数,可以用排比句或者直接开门见山的手法.中间段落严格按照总分总的结构,这个慎小嶷书里有,剑桥后面的范文也是如此,好好体会下吧.
4.词汇变化可以更多一些.最好一个单词不要重复出现三遍以上.
大概就是这些了.像基本的语法,介词搭配等问题我就不多说了.平时练习的时候多google,如果网上没有你写的那种说法,那么必然是你错了.这可以有效的避免中国式英语和语法还有用词上面的错误.