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哪位高手帮我修改修改这篇英语作文,

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哪位高手帮我修改修改这篇英语作文,
About one week ago ,I was worried about my presentation because I had no idea about the topic.so I surfed on the internet and read an article.The writer is a girl lived in abroad and miss her family,so he wrote many interested memories about her family.Then I thought ,I have a happy family,too.So I know what I want to do.Now,I’m honored standing there,to introduce my lovely family to you.
This handsome man is my father.This picture is took while he as a volunteer of 2008 olympic games.I think this is the most handsome one,so I choose this to show you first.My father loves travel,he travels in every year.So he has been to lots of places.This is in .this is in .and this is my father’s another hobby—fishing .he is really addicted to it,he will catch every chance to go fishing when he has time.My mom always complains about it.And of course,my dad is a best fisherman.This is also his volunteer picture.This is my dad.
And then,I’d like to introduce my mom.As you can see,she is an attractive woman.She always smile and can make everyone around her happy.She also likes to travel,this is exactly the same as my father.This is in Hainan.Now her hair is short,but I think neither her hair short or long,she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
I think my mom and dad is 模范夫妻.because they love each other deeply.Their marriage is just what I want.They travel together and wear 情侣装;my mom is 小鸟依人; whenever they go out ,they will hand in hand.And they also ply and fight just like two big kids.All this can reflect their love.Because my parents have love,our home filled with love,and that cause me grow up around love.So ,I’m a healthy and happy girl.
Then ,this is my another family member—dongdong.He brings lots of fun to me.My parents always busy for working,so dongdong stay with me every time that I’m not feel alone anymore.So I really love him.He is very cute,right?
This is my sister and me.She is my aunt’s daughter.You can guess which is me .this is me.I had no hair~we grow up together with my grandma,play together,so we have many valuable memories.This picture was took in one of our birthday.Because our birthday is very close,we often celebrate our birthday in the same day.Now,we grow up,we still go out and travel together some time.In my heart,she is my uniqe sister forever.
This is my grand ma,now she lives alone in suburb since my grandpa passed away.Her biggest interest is planting flowers.This flower is planted by her.All this flowers are planted by my grandma.Every summer holiday I go back to her home I can see lots of beautiful flowers in the yard,and it is really stunning.
哪位高手帮我修改修改这篇英语作文,
About one week ago ,I was worried about my presentation because I had no idea about the topic.so I surfed on the internet and read an article.The writer is a girl lived(这里in应删去,因为abroad是副词) abroad and missed(应与 lived保持相同形式,表过去) her family,so he wrote many interesting(改为interesting意为有趣的) memories about her family.Then I thought ,I have a happy family,too.So I know what I want to do.Now,I’m honored,standing there,to introduce my lovely family to you.
This handsome man is my father.This picture is took when(while表同时,而这里是在...时候) he worked(从句缺谓语) as a volunteer of 2008 olympic games.I think this is the most handsome one,so I choose this to show you first.My father loves travel,he travels ( every year是副词短语) every year.So he has gone(been表示较长时间旅游一般是短时间) to lots of places.This is in (加上地点) .this is in(加上地点) .and this is my father’s another hobby—fishing .he is really addicted to it,he will catch every chance to go fishing when he has time.My mom always complains about it.And of course,my dad is (one of the) best fishermans.This is also his volunteer picture.This is my dad.
And then,I’d like to introduce my mom.As you can see,she is an attractive woman.She always smile and can make everyone around her happy.She also likes(like to 表示一时的兴趣,) travelling,this is exactly the same one as my father"s.This is in Hainan.Now her hair is short,but I think neither her hair short or long,she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
I think my mom and dad is 模范夫妻.because they love each other deeply.Their marriage is just (the one) I want.They travel together and wear 情侣装;my mom is 小鸟依人; whenever they go out ,they will keep the state of(hand in hand是名词短语) hand in hand.And they also play and fight just like two big kids.All this can reflect their love.Because my parents have love,our home is(缺谓语动词) filled with love,and that (make更合适) me grow up around love.So ,I’m a healthy and happy girl.
Then ,this is my another family member—dongdong.He brings lots of fun to me.My parents always busy in(be busy in doing sth 忙于做某事) working,so dongdong stays(第三人称,用单数) with me( most of the time that make me )not feel alone anymore.So I really love him.He is very cute,right?
This is my sister and me.She is my aunt’s daughter.You can guess which is me .this is me.I had no hair~we grow up together with my grandma,play together,so we have many valuable memories.This picture was took on (on +具体时间)one of our birthdays.Because our birthday is very close,we often celebrate our birthday in the same day.Now,we grow up,we still go out and travel together some times.In my heart,she is my uniqe sister forever.
This is my grand ma,now she lives alone in suburb since my grandpa passed away.Her biggest interest is planting flowers.This flower is planted by her.All (these)flowers are planted by my grandma.Every summer holiday I go back(删去to) her home I can see lots of beautiful flowers in the yard,and it is really stunning.
这仅仅是在原基础上的修正,其中的一些词汇可以改为更高级一些的词汇,语法上也可以作进一步的修改,还有很大的提升空间!