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有没Academic Essay Writing的专业人士啊.

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有没Academic Essay Writing的专业人士啊.
QUESTION 1
Read the following introduction to an essay,written by a student in answer to the question ‘Compare and contrast the UK university system with that of an Asian country’.Rewrite it in a more academic style,where necessary,without changing the original meaning.
Type your answer in the space following the text.
TEXT
It’s obvious there are lots of differences between the British university system and those in Asia.These differences can cause problems for students when they transfer between one system and another.I’m going to tell you about the Japanese system,because that’s where I’m from.Mainly I’m going to talk about the differences in the way you’re taught and the number of subjects you study.Another really important thing is the differences in attitudes to study.I’ll finish up by discussing some of the advantages and disadvantages of each system for a bit.
谁帮我写一下啊.不太明白怎么改.
有没Academic Essay Writing的专业人士啊.
It is obvious that there are lots of differences between the British university system and the Asian university system. These differences would cause some problems for students who transfer from one system to another system. An example of the experience in the Japanese system would be showed. Briefly, there are three main points being presented which are the differences in the teaching way and the amount of studying subjects , the differences in attitudes to study, and a rough discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of each system.
本人essay能力有限,有些会改得不好
I,We这些第一人称在essay里面是怎么样都不能出现的.
学术性essay要很正式的语言.
更多tips可参考:
http://www1.aucegypt.edu/academic/writers/language.htm