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帮我批改一下英语作文吧,

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帮我批改一下英语作文吧,
May,20th,Saturday
Yesterday,I with my classmate planed to climbing worth mountain and had a picnic.In the morning,we called togather at 7 o'clock in school gate.Soon,it was raining,but we took bicycle continue,and we arrived the foot of the mountain for an hour later.For a moment,the rain was stoped,so we climbed the mountain and appreciate great sign.Then,we took photographes,sang,leaped,made games,cheesed,and felt so happy.At last,after lunch,we went down the mountain and all people felt too tired.
帮我批改一下英语作文吧,
首先日记格式不对,请参照如下标准.
英文日记通常由书端和正文两个部分组成.日记常以第一人称记下当天生活中的所见、所闻、所做或所想的事情.中、英文的日记三格式大致一样.英语日记的书端是专门写日记的日期、星期和天气的.左上角是日期(年、月、日)、星期.右上角写上当天的天气情况,如:Sunny, Fine, Rainy, Windy, Snowy, Cloudy等.
1.日期表达有多种形式.年、月、日都写时,通常以月、日、年为顺序,月份可以缩写,日和年用逗号隔开.例如: December 18, 2003 或者 Dec. 18, 2003
A) September 1, 2004或September 1st, 2004也可省略写成Sept. 1, 2004或Sept. 1st, 2004;B)the 1st of September in 2004(月份不可以缩写)
B)只有月、日
September 1或September 1st(月份可以缩写)
C)只有年、月
September 2004或the September of 2004(月份不可以缩写)
以上的1或1st都应读作the first.
2.星期也可以省略不写,可将其放在日期前或后,星期和日期之间不用标点,但要空一格,星期也可缩写.如:
Saturday, October 22nd, 2004;October 22nd, 2004 Saturday
3.天气情况必不可少.天气一般用一个形容词如 :Sunny, Fine, Rainy, Snowy 等表示.写在日期之后,用逗号隔开,位于日记的右上角.
以下大体给你修改了以下,错的话,楼主可以再改
日期应该为
Saturday, May 20, 2010, Windy
第一行.
1. plan to do sth, 而不能跟ing 形式,所以应该是planed to climb
2. worth mountain, 不知道楼主想说的是哪一座山,请楼主自己考证一下.
3. had a picnic, 应该是跟爬山野炊一起的,可以改为 have a picnic.
第二行.
1. 在.门口, 应该是at .gate,
2. but we took bicycle continue,这个像是中文式直译,可以改为, but we continued our trip by bike.
第三行.
for an hour later, 这里可以去掉 for.
第四行.
1. the rain was stoped, 应该为the rain stopped, was + 动词过去分词 表示被动,没有这种用法.
2,appreciate great sign 不知道楼主要表达什么.并且这里要同一时态,都应该是过去式,所以appreciate 应该是appreciated.
第五行
1. Sang,leaped, made games, cheesed. 看字眼好像楼主是表达又唱又跳,做游戏,下棋等(感觉楼主是用什么软件搞到这个翻译的吧).如果猜得没错的话,应该是改为 sang songs, danced together, played games, played chess.
最后一行.
按照习惯,可以改为,At last,we went down the mountain after the lunch, and all people felt so tired.