帮我挑挑语法错误!A girl ,who was beautiful and lovely,was in a bank
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帮我挑挑语法错误!
A girl ,who was beautiful and lovely,was in a bank with her boyfriend .
They were going to marry ,so they came to the bank to drew some money.
But suddenly ,a couple of men wearing stocking masks broke into the bank.
Then the girl heard some sound of shouting ,crying and shooting.
…………
When the girl came round,she found herself in a hospital.
A man was sitting beside her bed.He looked old because of his gray hair and his aged face.
“Who is he?”the girl exert(运用) all her power to thought,“ I can’t remember anything!Maybe he is my father!”
“Dad ,what happened to me ”
“Well……Nothing serious.You was only a little frightened.”the man answered her after a moment’s pause.
Afterwards,the girl came to life ,started a new career,and found a boyfriend.
One day ,she took her boyfriend to her home.
The boy told the man that he would take the girl as wife.The man’s facial expression was complex.
He led the boy to his room.After a long time,they came out.
The tear stains(泪痕) were clear on their faces.
No one knew what had happened.
The other day ,the boy took the girl to the bank,which might be familiar to us.It was in the bank that the girl came upon(遇到) the robbers.Not only we but also the girl realized it.She recalled everything.
She rushed out of the bank and ran home.She opened the door of his father’s room at one push and only found a piece of paper on the desk.It said that his father had something important to do ,so he would leave for a long time ,maybe never coming back.
She looked for every corner of the room,and finally she found a wedding photo.She was in the photo ,beautiful and lovely.Beside her standed a young man ,tall and handsome .
She called him “Father” just then,but in fact she had been an orphan (孤儿) when she was a child.
A few years ago ,she called the man “My love”.
A girl ,who was beautiful and lovely,was in a bank with her boyfriend .
They were going to marry ,so they came to the bank to drew some money.
But suddenly ,a couple of men wearing stocking masks broke into the bank.
Then the girl heard some sound of shouting ,crying and shooting.
…………
When the girl came round,she found herself in a hospital.
A man was sitting beside her bed.He looked old because of his gray hair and his aged face.
“Who is he?”the girl exert(运用) all her power to thought,“ I can’t remember anything!Maybe he is my father!”
“Dad ,what happened to me ”
“Well……Nothing serious.You was only a little frightened.”the man answered her after a moment’s pause.
Afterwards,the girl came to life ,started a new career,and found a boyfriend.
One day ,she took her boyfriend to her home.
The boy told the man that he would take the girl as wife.The man’s facial expression was complex.
He led the boy to his room.After a long time,they came out.
The tear stains(泪痕) were clear on their faces.
No one knew what had happened.
The other day ,the boy took the girl to the bank,which might be familiar to us.It was in the bank that the girl came upon(遇到) the robbers.Not only we but also the girl realized it.She recalled everything.
She rushed out of the bank and ran home.She opened the door of his father’s room at one push and only found a piece of paper on the desk.It said that his father had something important to do ,so he would leave for a long time ,maybe never coming back.
She looked for every corner of the room,and finally she found a wedding photo.She was in the photo ,beautiful and lovely.Beside her standed a young man ,tall and handsome .
She called him “Father” just then,but in fact she had been an orphan (孤儿) when she was a child.
A few years ago ,she called the man “My love”.
![帮我挑挑语法错误!A girl ,who was beautiful and lovely,was in a bank](/uploads/image/z/5779597-13-7.jpg?t=%E5%B8%AE%E6%88%91%E6%8C%91%E6%8C%91%E8%AF%AD%E6%B3%95%E9%94%99%E8%AF%AF%21A+girl+%2Cwho+was+beautiful+and+lovely%2Cwas+in+a+bank)
取钱drew --draw
sound 改为noise更好
at one push改为 in a hurry
It said that 改为 It's said that
coming---came
standed--stand,这里按照照片中的时态,不必用过去时,而且过去时也应该是stood
sound 改为noise更好
at one push改为 in a hurry
It said that 改为 It's said that
coming---came
standed--stand,这里按照照片中的时态,不必用过去时,而且过去时也应该是stood
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