批改雅思作文!题：It is more important for buildings to serve particu

批改雅思作文!
题：It is more important for buildings to serve particular purposes than to look good.Do you agree or disagree with this view.
作文：With the upward trend of citilization and the fast development of society,the cityscape have been changing year by year.Many skyscrapters have been built up and made contribution to the beauty and development of urban area.However,there is an arguement that particular purposes are much more significant than appearance when construct buildings.
Apparently,buildings are built for a variety of purposes.For instence,hospitals need more room for patients and other euqiments due to the growing ratio of aging people.Primary and Secondary schools have the responsibility to ensure their teaching quality so adequate classrooms and libraries are needed.Owing to the firece competition and acquirance fo the lion's share of the market,real estate managers are constructing high buildings to make fortune.Besides,high rise buildings are also an effective way to solve the crowdness of developed cities.
Admittedly,the good look of a building do take time and energy.However,the advantages of different kinds of buildings should also be recognized.As we all know,buildings are designed by different people and use various materials,you can hardly find two building exactly the same in one city.Thus,it represent the cultural diversity and do add spice to our lives.Futhermore,the diversity and characteristics of each building can boost employee's efficency to some extent.After all,working in a plesant environment is more comfortable than working in an atmosphere that is monotonous.Lastly,International tourism and communication can be enhanced as a result of diversified buildings,which would accelerate the economy development.Therefore,the out look of a building is also a necessary factor to be taken into consideration when construct it.
Having considered all the arguements listed above.I am convinced that the importance of a building's out look and paticular porposes are equally assessed.Designers and engineers should take both of the two elements into account when construct a building.

"文章扣题,层次也很清楚,尤其是手段交待很清楚.但是中间段的分论点很多,而且缺乏展开,我们看到的考官范文和高分作文都要展现很好的逻辑展开能力,你的这种写法,也许得到不错的分数,也许会很低,因为几乎大部分学生都这样写,考虑一下!也许是打字太快了,有很多拼写的错误.文章 6 分
With the upward trend of citilization and the fast development of society,the cityscape have/has been changing year by year.Many skyscrapters have been built up and made contribution to the beauty and development of urban area.However,there is an arguement that particular purposes are much more significant than appearance when construct buildings.这句话没有主语呀,一定要注意基本的语法错误.手段交代的很清楚
Apparently,buildings are built for a variety of purposes.For instence,hospitals need more room for patients and other euqiments due to the growing ratio of aging people.Primary and Secondary schools have the responsibility to ensure their teaching quality so adequate classrooms and libraries are needed.Owing to the firece competition and acquirance/acquisition fo the lion's share of the market,real estate managers are constructing high buildings to make fortune.Besides,high rise buildings are also an effective way to solve the crowdness of developed cities.
Admittedly,the good look of a building do take time and energy.However,the advantages of different kinds of buildings should also be recognized.As we all know,buildings are designed by different people and use various materials,you can hardly find two building exactly the same in one city.Thus,it represent the cultural diversity and do add spice to our lives.Futhermore,the diversity and characteristics of each building can boost employee's efficency to some extent.After all,working in a plesant environment is more comfortable than working in an atmosphere that is monotonous.Lastly,International tourism and communication can be enhanced as a result of diversified buildings,which would accelerate the economy development.Therefore,the out look of a building is also a necessary factor to be taken into consideration when construct it.
Having considered all the arguements listed above.I am convinced that 很模式话the importance of a building's out look and paticular porposes are equally assessed.Designers and engineers should take both of the two elements into account when construct a building."